We have become very good at discussing Nigeria.

We discuss Nigeria at dinner tables, in offices, on radio, on television, on X, in WhatsApp groups and in the comments of people we have never met.

We know what is wrong.

We know who is responsible.

We know what should happen next.

There are solutions for the economy, politics, education and corruption. Occasionally, we even have answers for problems we have never personally experienced.

The harder part, apparently, is agreeing on the Nigeria we actually want to live in.

We Want a Better Nigeria

Everybody wants a better country until that improvement becomes inconvenient.

We want cleaner streets, yet littering remains somebody else’s problem.

We want better institutions, but we are often happy to call a friend when the rules get in our way.

We want accountability from people in power, yet our standards can become flexible when the person being questioned is someone we support.

Fairness is something we want, provided it does not cost us our advantage.

Better leadership is welcome, provided the leader belongs to our side.

Justice is important, provided it produces the outcome we already wanted.

Even national unity can come with private ideas about who deserves to belong.

That is the strange contradiction at the centre of our national conversation.

Nigeria Is Not Just Its Leaders

We often discuss Nigeria as though the country exists outside ourselves.

It is something created by politicians, institutions, businessmen, elites, foreigners, previous generations and everybody else except us.

But Nigeria is also the behaviour we repeat every day.

It is the small bribe we justify.

It is the queue we skip.

It is the lie we tell because it is convenient.

It is the favour we demand because we know someone.

It is the incompetent person we defend because they are “our person.”

It is the standard we enforce against an enemy and abandon for a friend.

Perhaps the Nigeria we keep complaining about is partly a reflection of the Nigeria we keep participating in.

The Nigeria We Live In

This is not an argument that citizens are responsible for every failure in Nigeria.

They are not.

Power matters.

Leadership matters.

Institutions matter.

Policy matters.

But culture matters too.

A country cannot permanently outsource its values.

At some point, the Nigeria we want has to become visible in the way we behave when nobody is watching.

If we want honest leaders, honesty has to matter to us outside election season.

If we want fair institutions, fairness cannot only matter when we are the ones being treated unfairly.

If we want accountability, we cannot demand it from our opponents while excusing the same behaviour from our friends.

Otherwise, we will continue having excellent conversations about an imaginary country while living very comfortably inside the real one.

Good morning, Nigeria.

We have discussed the country enough.

Perhaps it is time to start living up to the one we keep demanding.